


Dumbledoor and the Valentines Day Fiasco

by M1dn1ght_Star



Series: Dumbledoor Crack Series [10]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Dumbledore Being an Idiot, An unnamed student who just wanted their very own frog, Attempt at Humor, BAMF Minerva McGonagall, But Remus doesn't mind really, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dumbledore has terrible fashion sense, Emergency Castle Lockdown because of frogs, Filch passes out in horror, Frogs, Gen, Hogwarts, Hogwarts favorite color is purple, Humor, Irma Pince yeets a frog, Nauseating color combinations, Pince is done with the students trying to be amorous in her library, Sentient Hogwarts, Snape steals toast, endless corridors and amusements, lovebirds, tacky decorations, the frog flood of 1993, which are later improved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29362764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M1dn1ght_Star/pseuds/M1dn1ght_Star
Summary: I'm back again with another installment of the Dumbledoor series!Trust me, this is one of my best ones so far (at least in my opinion)!An excerpt to entice you to read:"The good start to Minerva’s day was promptly ruined as the trio turned the corner into the Great Hall and found their eyes assaulted by a multitude of glittering balloons and streamers in various shades of crimson and fuschia, with some mint and hot pink flowers on the tables thrown in for good measure. She’d thought nothing could top the disaster that was the Valentine’s Day Lockhart commandeered in 1992, however it seemed the Headmaster was up to the challenge."
Series: Dumbledoor Crack Series [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053173
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Dumbledoor and the Valentines Day Fiasco

**Author's Note:**

> Happy early Valentines day lovely stars!

Minerva McGonagall hummed to herself as she put the final touches on that week's lesson plan. She had decided to teach the candle to purple rabbit transfiguration to her upper years in honor of Valentine’s Day, while also having them get some extra practice on inanimate to animate transfigurations. The younger students would have to settle for Scribblifors to turn candy into quills and back, getting to keep the sweets if they were successful.

She glanced up at the sound of footsteps and saw Pomona standing in the doorway smiling. “Morning, Minerva. I was just heading down to breakfast. Care to join me?”

“Of course, let me just put my parchment away.” Minerva replied, standing as she said so and tucking the stack of paper away in a drawer which was promptly locked.

The two professors made light conversation as they made their way through the castle, greeting the occasional colleague or student. Irma joined them as they went past the third floor corridor and complained about the increase of physical affection she was sure to suffer today in the library. Minerva smiled fondly, suggesting she set a ward to give a mild shock to anyone attempting to become amourous in the bookshelves. Pince smiled gleefully at this idea and Sprout raised an eyebrow humorously, saying she might try that around her own greenhouses.

The good start to Minerva’s day was promptly ruined as the trio turned the corner into the Great Hall and found their eyes assaulted by a multitude of glittering balloons and streamers in various shades of crimson and fuschia, with some mint and hot pink flowers on the tables thrown in for good measure. She’d thought nothing could top the disaster that was the Valentine’s Day Lockhart commandeered in 1992, however it seemed the Headmaster was up to the challenge.

Taking a deep breath so as not to be sick at the blatant onslaught of color, Minerva closed her eyes for a moment, hoping that when she opened them again, the Great Hall would be back to normal. Unfortunately, when she cautiously peeked from beneath her lashes, the disaster of a decoration was still there. The likely culprit had joined the colorful mess and was now chatting cheerfully with a nauseous looking Severus Snape.

Shoving a pink and white heart patterned balloon out of the way so she could take her seat at the staff table, Minerva glanced around the hall, trying her best to ignore the decorations. Most of the students seemed overwhelmed and mildly disgusted, but a few seemed to  _ like  _ the disaster that had become of their dining hall. No accounting for taste, it seemed.

Severus finally escaped the magenta and lilac clutches of Dumbledoor, slumping into the chair next to Sprout and clutching a cup of black coffee to his chest like a lifeline. He drained the coffee mug within seconds and promptly fled the room after stealing a stack of buttered toast off of Lupin’s plate. Remus didn’t seem too upset, only rolled his eyes and politely requested some more from the house elves.

McGonagall was relaxing a little as she drank her cup of morning tea, only to nearly fling the hot liquid all over herself when Dumbledoor appeared out of nowhere and practically yelled in her ear, “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Setting the cup quickly down on the table before she broke it, Minerva inhaled slightly shakily and resisted the urge to strangle the Headmaster. “Morning, Albus.” She managed, through gritted teeth.

“I see you have been enjoying the decor! Just wait until the pink frogs arrive, I’m so glad I decided to get them and the lovebirds instead of the chicks and bunnies.” Dumbledoor said cheerfully, missing the looks of horror crossing every single member of the staff’s faces.

His delivery of rose-colored amphibians and their feathered companions promptly arrived, toted by some grumpy looking owls who snatched a frog (or three, in the case of one who nearly took off one of Dumbledoor’s fingers as he opened the crate). It took the Headmaster a total of 30 seconds to accidentally knock the crate over, setting loose a miniature flood of pink frogs who hopped away in all directions. The lovebirds fluttered up to the rafters, settling there and occasionally dive bombing the tables when they spotted something to eat. Minerva could only imagine the disaster that would be coming later, after the birds had digested their meal.

Filch fainted dead away as he stepped into the room, leaving Pomfrey to rush over and check on him. The rest of the staff exchanged looks and promptly made a run for it, leaving the students to fend for themselves. An oblivious Dumbledoor helped himself to a bowl of cereal, only to duck for cover when twenty lovebirds dived straight for his food. He finally seemed to realize what a mess he’d made and joined the students in fleeing the room.

A very confused pink frog croaked as he was tossed around in a dark place before falling out of the bag and into the book Irma was checking back in to the library. She took one look at the frog and sent it flying out into the hallway, barricading the door and putting up a closed sign before ushering the few students in the library through her private floo. It looked like she’d be having the day off. She sat up with a smile, remembering the spell Minerva had suggested. It was the perfect chance to implement it and something like that would be perfect to have long-term.

Meanwhile, Minerva had reached her classroom and was casually transfiguring any frogs that made it into the room into various objects and using them as part of her lesson for the fifth years, giving a prize to the one who could get the most. She had no idea how many frogs the Headmaster had ordered, but from what she’d seen, there had to be a good five thousand or so.

The rest of the teachers weren’t quite as proficient in the face of the Frog Flood of 1993, preferring to cancel their classes and firmly close their doors, bringing whatever students happened to be close into their classrooms or common rooms with them. The castle herself nudged any wayward students in the right direction, all the while sending Dumbledoor running along an endless corridor as revenge for releasing the creatures and destroying her beautiful dining hall.

The unlucky Headmaster finally figured out something weird was going on and stopped running, only to hear an odd sound. He turned around, recognizing that he was near Myrtle’s usually flooded bathroom, and his eyes went wide as a wave of frogs came rushing around the corner, croaking cheerfully and swimming. He fell over backwards as the water hit him forcefully, screaming in horror as a frog got stuck in his beard and others soon joined it.

Back in the Great Hall, the flock of lovebirds were firmly pushed out the open windows by suits of armor which had been animated by the castle for this specific task. Thankfully, their meal hadn’t settled yet and there were no casualties among the armor, who managed to successfully remove all of the birds from the school. The frogs, however, were a different story.

Hogwarts cackled as she came up with a brilliant punishment for Dumbledoor and the rest of the school exchanged wide eyed looks as all the frogs which were still frogs vanished. They reappeared in the Headmaster’s office, unable to leave because of invisible barriers at all entrances and exits, and Hogwarts kindly created a pond for them which went up to the bottom of the steps. She rendered it impossible to change or move by any magic except her own. The castle then noticed one sad looking first year Ravenclaw who had named a frog she had caught and was planning to keep it as a familiar, seeking out the same frog and returning it with a little purple bow around its neck.

The rest of the day passed slowly for the students and professors, who eventually ventured out to find completely empty halls and they all made their way back to the Great Hall, whose decorations were now changed and all purple colored. A few tasteful balloons in soft purple and gold stripes floated in the corners and elegantly made sweets and foods lined the sparkling clean tables. Cute little valentines day cards from the castle herself sat at every place setting.

Minerva smiled and took a bite of the heart shaped finger-sized ginger cake she was holding. Next to her, Severus was looking much less grumpy than usual, enjoying some strawberry and mandarin orange trifle. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, except for Dumbledoor who was ominously missing. 

Lupin leaned over with a mischievous look on his face and said, “I bet the Headmaster is regretting his decisions right now. Serves him right, to be honest, I don’t know  _ what  _ he was thinking.” Far away, surrounded by frogs and soaking wet, Dumbledore sneezed as he felt like someone was talking about him.


End file.
